“Almost every person in the world, at one time or another, experiences events that can be considered major losses.” Thus we all grieve in one way or another.
Everyone deals with grief differently. Some cry for days, hardly taking a moment to care for themselves. Others laugh, whether nervously, or because they like to manage pain with humor. Others feel numb, and wonder why they aren't crying or laughing like the others. Some feel guilty that they are not able to express their loss or I wish I was there to help.
Loss can be anything: losing a job, transfer from one place to another place, moving from one job to another job, leaving friends and colleagues behind, Losing property, terminal sickness, death of loved ones, divorce and separation. And now as we struggle with Covid 19 and losing our dear ones. So it is essential to handle loss and grief well.
Kenneth William in his book ‘Sharpening Your Interpersonal Skills’ talks about loss and grief; says, “It can be easy for us to underestimate the impact of grief on our lives. Much of what we call “burnout” may actually be unresolved or accumulated grief”.
Why would handling grief well be so critical to our survival and joy during hard times?
One has to come to terms in understanding grief, for managing our own grief well, and to enable us to help others grieve well.
Grieving is not only good and appropriate in times of loss but to not grieve is unhealthy. Grieving person end up with automatic thoughts, which leads them to reaction to have symptoms of being Emotional, Behavioral and Physiological.
As I travel across the globe, I came to observe that each culture, community and society has their own way of handling and processing grief. In some cultures they hire mourners to grieve the death one who has departed. Many cultures around the world expect men to not show their grief, but are expected to be strong to help the family members whereas women are allowed to openly show emotion. Thus for some grief is suppressed, for some they can express and some are not able to process in a way that allows everyone to process loss and grief.
How does one process loss and grief out in public within the community and personally? How long does it take to process? Grieving takes time.
We normally underestimate the amount of time and work it takes to resolve grief issues.
How important it is to have a group of friends, an accountability group or caregivers, for those who had gone through an experience of loss and are grieving and going through loss and grief right now?
“Very important” to consider having an accountability group of friends who understand the feelings of loss and grief. On the other hand it is also wise to see therapist to help the ones who are grieving.
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Pramila Rajendran
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